Monday, December 10, 2012

I do, Internet

You know, it's funny, last time I had a broken heart I slowly healed it by not only getting under someone, Mario, but also by watching dozens of horror films. It, Rec, pshyco, the ring, etc were all movies that kept me awake and kept my mind occupied from thoughts about Matt (who?)

This time, it's similar. Loss of appetite, no sex drive, and a complete devotion to the internet. But instead I am watching romantic comedies. In fact, I have watched 5 movies in the last two days and four of them have been about falling in love. The only one that wasn't, The Client List, is about a woman who does everything she can for her family.

It's about strength.

Maybe that's why I'm not too focused on watching horror films. This time I'm going through the feelings instead of pushing them away. It makes me feel numb, then sad, then angry, then back to numb. It's weird because I am used to putting my feelings aside and this time I'm not.

I hate feeling numb. It's like you can't really see or hear anything. Like trying to watch TV while you are underwater. And not only underwater but in murky water. It's such a strange feeling. Not really living your life but feeling as a spectator.

Blah.

On a brighter note, I have been invited to a secret party. More details on that on Friday. I'm stoked. I just want to go out and party and forget about everything.

Seriously, the last few days I have spend a sinful amount of time on the internet and an equally large portion of time talking and cuddling my feline companion. He's a doll. Keeps me company in the morning. Makes me feel a little bit better about not waking up beside the ex.


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