Saturday, December 15, 2012

He texted me about his guitar

Fuck. The guitar. We forgot to make him take it.

This is what happened in a mostly coherent manner.

He said we forgot his guitar. And then he said he misses me and will love me forever. I told him that he needs to stop doing that and that he made his choice. I also said we need to stop talking for a few months and decide in March if we want to be friends. He said its hard bc of work but I said he can talk to other sups if he needs to. He said he is confused about his feelings. I said I feel sorry for him. He said I shouldn't pity him and that he just wants me to understand.

Then I said "I know. I don't and won't ever. You know I'm one to have my heart and mind set on one track. But you aren't allowed to be confused, you chose it. And it just makes me hopeful. So meh. Point is we aren't getting back together and we aren't friends. End of a sad, pointless story." And he didn't answer. I'm seeing him Monday after work for him to pick up his guitar. I saved the last message I sent him because it keeps me sane haha. I deleted his number and his texts.

And then I was mad because I realized he claims to have broken up with me because he wants me to be happy. He doesn't respect me enough to let me make my own choices or to maybe tell me the truth.

I feel like an idiot though. I chased him and he can't even make up his mind about how he feels or what he wants. He claims to know he loves me but the only thing he is certain of is that he can't be with me. Wtf. If you love me then why not. It's such bullshit. If you don't want to be with me say it. Don't make up some flimsy excuse. Coward.

I don't think I've ever been this mad at someone's lack of bluntness before. Whatever. He can take his guitar and gtfo.

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