Rant

started an argument with matt for no fucking good reason.

made him get all huffy/annoyed with me.

this makes me feel like shit because i believe that i really am trying my best but time after time i see that my best is just simply not good enough it's never going to measure up to the good girlfriend standards i have set for myself i cannot make him as happy as i would like to and it kills me to know that i will never be able to make him trully happy just SAD or ANGRY or FRUSTRATED with the things i say or the things i do like i know we really care for each other but sometimes its so hard to not feel like a complete failure who just keeps messing things up time after time i know he tries very hard and it just makes it worse to know that i mess up so badly

gah i hate ranting but like ugh i really wish i could do better for him because i know exactly what he deserves and how far i am from reaching that bar gah i do not know what to do since my best is not working well it is we have a great relationship but it is not making him happy and him being all grr and bleh makes me feel like trash because i know that i cant do better.... fuckkk

mh then he said that i "just push me over the edge"

gah like ouchhh that could not have hurt more that is NOT what a girlfriend is for. It's not like you go up to your girlfriend thinking they are going to fuck you over, you go to them for comfort. fuckkk like seriously sometimes i feel like i am def just an absolute and complete failure at this

why can't i make him feel half as great as he makes me feel?