Break

Young man!
Are you listening to me?
What do you want to be?

Taking a break from homeworking so I decided to come here anc blog about nothing in particular. Which is what I usually blog about. Most of these posts have absolutely no substance, they aren't even written as well as I am capable of writing. It's just a place for me to privately rant about things.

How private is a blog though right?

Well, ONLY like 3 people I know in "real life" have the link to this. And most people don't really stumble on blogs, haha. So basically, it's my own little reflecting place.

Anyways, my birthday is coming up. Don't really know what to expect. I know my birthdays have always been really good or really bad in the past.

When I was younger than nine, everything would be awesome. My family, practically my entire private school, trampolines, ventriloquists, animals, clowns, bouncy castles. Those are some of the things that I would have for my brithday every single year. But then my parents divorced and we moved here.

No more family to attend and anything else I ever knew. Gone.

Mh. I guess that's when things started going down hill.

I kinda missed bloggind about it last year, was kind of busy ... wow.. looking at that post, really makes me wonder.

Some things written there about Michael. It's weird seeing that. Things like "never been stronger"... I don't even recall feeling like that... it's like someone else wrote all of that. I find it so hard to imagine that it was me once upon a time. Me who would wait outside my school during Camp Olympia meetings just to see him for five minutes, me sprinting down the school hallways to talk to him, me sitting with him on the ferris wheel.

Who was I?
Better yet, how much more different am I now?

It really makes me sad thinking about that though. All I know now and all I should have known then to prevent everything from going so badly. Not as in a I-still-want-to-date-him way but as in a wow-how-could-I-have-been-so-stupid-look-what-my-blindness-caused. Does that make sence? Maybe not. But since when does anyone care about me making sence?