Fight

"Ugh that got me thinking. Is it too much to ask for them to try a little harder? To at least try and say the right things? Or do the right thing? We shouldn't always have to tell them. Like the little things hurt more than anything. I'd go out of my way to like never do the smallest thing to hurt him. And it's probably not the same way for him.....I need reassurance. Fuck my life. I want to go live in a fairy tale."

- Debs Rex <3

I totally agree with this statement. Guys need to try a lot harder... but then again, so do girls right? Matt and I argue all the time. I screw up a lot and hurt him often. But the thing is, I hate having to pay for his ex-girlfriend's mistakes. I know most of what I do that bothers him now wouldn't have bothered him if she had been able to appreciate what an amazing guy he is. I make him feel horrible. Make him feel like he's a bad boyfriend even though I think he's an excellent one. Gah. I don't know why he puts up with me, really.

I know he could date someone prettier. Someone smarter. Someone from his school. Someone who can actually make him happy. Someone who doesn't fight with him over everything....

And I mean everything.

(I'm so insecure.)

I asked him why we always fight... he replied that it's because we care for one another. Too bad that in the process of caring for one another, we hurt each other so much..

fuuuuuuuckkk. I couldn't have said it better myself Deb, "I need reassurance. Fuck my life. I want to go live in a fairy tale."

But if I did, the prince would end up with the princess, right? Seriously, right now, if someone was writing our story, I doubt I would be the princess. More like the sinister step-sister.

Gah, and another thing. Half the time I wish that his ex-girlfriend had seen how much he's worth. Had treated him right, never hurt him. I would rather him never have been hurt even if it means he would still be dating her...

Everytime I think about this, I think about that song by Avril Lavigne... Sk8er Boi...I don't know why, but it always comes to mind...

I want to go live in a fairy taleeeeeeee.