May 15/11

This time apart seems
elongated at least to me
you promised forever
for me you'd be

Now I sit here, with my
broken heart, mourning
my future with you, seeing
my love walk away and reject me,

I sit with scissors
Cutting you from pictures - memories-
like you did to me,
Willingly!!

I cry a bit, even though
a month has passed and
you never really loved me
The pain is real.

Project

She looks at her face and frowns,
she hopes the mirror lies about those pounds.
But what she cant see is the beauty inside
She only sees the opinions people provide

She always tries to please but all she gets is teased
Her friends say " you're too fat - please stand at the very back"
She cries herself to sleep. At night all she does is weep
And wish she was thinner, that she hadn't eaten dinner.

And so she starts, starts skipping meals.
And when she does eat, she feeds on very little
She loses weight fast, compliments arise
She forgets about the past, she'125.

But soon it's an obsession, counting calories - an addiction
Her parents worry, her friends are sorry
Her eating disorder - its gone too far,
In her life she needs ORDER
to regain control

Her parents watch her, refusing counselling,
Refusing food, she would die - they knew she would

And so time passed, and she, the beauty once known
Became a simple bag of bones - losing weight
until there was no more

Soon she passed on, her weight below 71,
and the people weeping now are the ones who once called her foul
As the coffin passed before the crowd,
they all cried on not as proud

And so the story ends of a girl who had no friends because of how she looked
Instead of who she was.

15 again

"When life opens a door, It opens a window"
Bravely I jumped into the air,
But could not reach that spec of hope

So I knocked on the door,
screamed my demands,
and then I saw God,
He took me in his hands

He touched my face
he said he cared
"It's just a phase, don't be scared"

He took me in his arms,
and carried me high,
so I could see
from above the sky.

"This is your world- your life,
Be kind, be generous,
And you'll see - it'll be alright"

..15

Disappointment,
It follows me wherever I might ho,
Making me sad instead of making me glow,
Little stains on the cloth of my life,
That cloud over me.

Friendship,
Very rarely true
Lies, gossip and two faced bitches
All coming from the girl beside you
Who just complimented your hair

Sins,
I'm criticized because of them,
Mistakenly judged because of the past,
My "past" - how long will that last?
Will my sins ever truly be forgiven>

Love,
It never lasts as long as it should,
It's a fake emotion, empty as the very word,
As the man who said it.
Love is the fancy word for lust 

cat

I had a cat
Who lived in a hat
He hit me with his bat
So I said "stupid cat"

When i was 15...

Alone I stand,
In tears I drown
My screams go unheard
just another soul pushed aside

I long to be comforted,
To be spoken to as an equal,
To be valued for who I am,
Not who I pretend to be,
Or who I should be.

Alive- but not
Loved- but not
Remembered - yet forgotten
As I walk down this dark road,
Called my life

Foreplay

I am fire
My limbs dance and curl
My soul flickers and flashes
 His breath
 Makes me burn more fiercely,
Passionately,
Ardently.
I dance for him
Swaying seductively
Daring him to touch me.
Daring him to near me
But at the same time
Making him fear me.
He plays with me
Carefully blows on me
Blows me out
Lights me up again
He comes closer
Pulls away quickly
Suddenly I like this game
I burn on
He sighs
And I am gone.


Now I am ashes.